The Icelandic Phone Book - A Study in Naming Conventions and Emergencies

People from, you know, other countries, countriesfloating around, that have infiltrated the culture
where they do proper family names and call eachthroughout the ages, for various reasons. Names
other Mr and Mrs and suchlike, are usually prettylike Laxness, Gudjohnsen, Pedersen, Clausen,
aghast when they see the Icelandic phone book.Mathiesen ... come to think of it, a lot of -sens.
The Icelandic phone book lists everyone by theirThanks to our Danish colonial masters, no doubt.
first names. Then comes your last name, thenOur phone book contains a lot of useful
your address, then your occupation [to set youinformation, as well. Apart from regular stuff like
apart you from all the other Jónemergency phone numbers and so on we also
Jónssons, what else?] and finally yourhave useful information about things like the tallest
phone number[s].mountains and waterfalls in the world [in case you
Everyone is listed by their first names in thewant to plan your next vacation around that], the
phone book because here in Iceland we calllongest rivers in Iceland [for river rafting
everyone by their first names. We don't do Mr orpossibilities, perhaps], the solar system [YOU ARE
Mrs. Not even when we're kids. Your teacher isHERE] and all the national flags in the world [good
Gunna. Your friend's dad is Jón. Yourto know in case you accidentally wind up in, say,
president is Óli. Your Prime Minister is Geir.Iraq]. Not to mention EXTREMELY useful
Your friendly local pop star is Björk. And soinformation about what to do in case of natural
on.disasters: volcanic eruptions [put a helmet on],
In addition to the jovial first-name basis, wehurricanes [make sure your roofing material is
operate on a system of patronyms, meaning thatsecure], flooding [clear your outdoor drains], mud
you take your father's first name and simply addslides [stay in the side of the house that is
the suffix -son [if you're a boy] or -dóttirfurthest from the mountain], snow avalanches
[if you're a girl]. Björk[ditto] and earthquakes [dive under the nearest
Gudmundsdóttir is the daughter oftable].
Gudmundur. Ólafur RagnarSeriously, you could spend hours just reading the
Grímsson is the son of Grímur.Icelandic phone book. It's eminently entertaining
And so on.and totally rocks.
That said, we do have a few family names