| You have been asked to write and give a eulogy | | | | be gardening. Another way is to present the |
| at a loved one’s funeral, but need some | | | | stories in chronological order. Include the humorous |
| guidance as to what to say. It is not easy to | | | | anecdotes as well as the serious. |
| write a eulogy for someone you loved as soon as | | | | Deciding on a focus helps you weed out the |
| you hear of his or her passing. Below you will find | | | | lesser important details and keeps your speech |
| usable information you can apply right now in a | | | | easier to write and easier to deliver. The most |
| step-by-step format. | | | | important thing to do is keep the speech personal |
| What is a Eulogy? | | | | to you and the deceased. You don't have to |
| A eulogy is a speech given at a funeral that | | | | include all the stories you can think of, just the |
| praises and celebrates the life of the deceased. | | | | ones that were the most meaningful to you. |
| Often the eulogy is written and delivered by a | | | | Step Three: Include Poems, Quotes and Biblical |
| close friend or family member and gives details of | | | | References |
| the deceased's life and death. The speech usually | | | | Once you have decided on a theme or focus and |
| contains anecdotes and the speaker's fond | | | | have begun to choose which stories you want to |
| memories. A eulogy is a way for mourners to | | | | include, the third step is to choose poems, quotes |
| hear about how their loved one was appreciated | | | | and biblical references. Choose the ones that are |
| by other people. It is a way to make peace with | | | | meaningful to you or the deceased and that |
| the death and to share grief. | | | | relate the theme or focus and to what you would |
| Step One: Gather Your Thoughts | | | | like to say in your eulogy. A eulogy does not have |
| The first step is to sit down with paper and pen | | | | to have these, but including them helps people |
| or at the computer and jot down memories, | | | | relate to the stories you are telling about the |
| thoughts and ideas about the deceased. You don't | | | | deceased. Usually there is one at either the |
| have to worry about the order or relevancy of | | | | beginning or ending of the eulogy. If you've found |
| the memories now. Later you can decide what to | | | | another you'd like to include, put it either at the |
| keep and what to omit from the final version. | | | | beginning or ending of an individual story within the |
| This is just an exercise to clear your head, start | | | | eulogy. At ObituariesHelp.org, you can find eulogy |
| thinking of the deceased, and to get your ideas | | | | poem samples. Free poems are available online for |
| on paper. While you are doing this free writing | | | | you to choose. |
| keep the following in mind: | | | | Step Four: Finishing Touches |
| - Recollect stories and anecdotes about the | | | | The last step of writing the eulogy is to choose |
| person that were meaningful to you | | | | an order for your stories, anecdotes and quotes. |
| - Include highlights of the person's life | | | | Now is the time to make final decisionsas to |
| - Jot down notes about their accomplishments in | | | | which stories to keep and which to remove from |
| life or acts of humanitarianism | | | | your eulogy. Remember that you will be speaking |
| - Include information about their hobbies, interests | | | | for as few as 2 minutes to as many as 10 |
| and participation in organizations or associations | | | | minutes. |
| - Include poems, quotes or biblical references that | | | | To help you decide what to cut or add in, say |
| remind you of the person or that were | | | | your speech aloud and time yourself. If you feel it |
| meaningful to the deceased | | | | should be longer, add in another story, if you feel |
| - Think about how the person would like to be | | | | it should be shorter cut a story or cut some |
| remembered in your eulogy | | | | details from a story. There is no limit to the |
| - Write about their death and the events leading | | | | length of a eulogy; many funeral homes allow as |
| up to it. | | | | much time as you need. |
| - Write down the effect their influence had on | | | | Your speech will be as long or as short as it |
| you and your life. | | | | needs to be. Look at all the notes you've made |
| - Talk with other people giving speeches at the | | | | and sort through them to decide what you will |
| funeral to see what they are writing about. It will | | | | want to keep and what you will remove from |
| help you remember stories and ensure there will | | | | your eulogy. Even if it is just one recollection you |
| be no duplicate material. | | | | have, decide what parts of the story you will tell |
| - Read some written examples of a eulogy at | | | | and if there is anything that is better left unsaid. |
| ObituariesHelp.org. | | | | Step Five: Practice |
| Take as much time as you need to gather your | | | | Remember to practice your eulogy several times |
| thoughts and write your ideas down. Often things | | | | before the funeral. Sometimes the emotions of |
| don't come to us quickly when we want them to. | | | | the day make it difficult to give a speech, but if |
| If possible do this exercise, then take a break or | | | | you are well practiced, the speech will be much |
| rest before going onto to the next step. | | | | easier to say. Say it out loud to someone and ask |
| Step Two: Choose a Theme or Focus | | | | them for feedback, then say it out loud again and |
| The next step is to decide how you want to | | | | again until you feel comfortable with what you are |
| present the material. If you’ve collected | | | | saying. Don't worry about the emotions of the |
| several stories and ideas, you’ll have to sort | | | | day, if you are well practiced, you will be able to |
| through them to pick out the most important | | | | make it through. If you do by chance succumb to |
| ones. Remember that people want to hear about | | | | the emotion, let it happen, it is perfectly |
| the deceased from your personal perspective. | | | | understandable and acceptable. |
| Including details of their career and | | | | You were chosen by the family of the deceased |
| accomplishments is important only if it had an | | | | to give the eulogy because of your unique |
| impact on you and your relationship with the | | | | relationship to the deceased, your ability to speak |
| deceased. | | | | or your relationship to the family. Giving the |
| Perhaps there is a theme or focus that appears in | | | | eulogy is an honor no matter how difficult it may |
| all of the stories. For example, if the deceased | | | | seem at the time. Speak from the heart and be |
| had a passion for gardening and you have one or | | | | honest, in most cases, humor and truthfulness are |
| a few stories about her gardens, a theme could | | | | not only suitable but also appreciated. |