| Recently I had the chance to read again the first | | | | the past it was a very different story; so I urge |
| chapter of Mark Herber's guidebook "Ancestral | | | | you to handle it with sensitivity whenever you are |
| Trails." It really is one of the finest books on | | | | talking to family members of an older generation. |
| British Isles Family history and Genealogy. | | | | Returning to this chapter, provided by Mark |
| This important book, for family historians, has an | | | | Herber's handbook, I was amused to realise that I |
| incredible section on comprehending family | | | | had forgotten about defining cousins relationships. |
| relationships. No, I certainly am not suggesting that | | | | Whilst attending a family marriage, a few years |
| it is a self-help publication aimed at men and | | | | back, I was introduced by my |
| women going through a bad patch in their | | | | first-cousin-once-removed to one of her friends |
| relationships; its more about what the phrases | | | | of her own age group. She said that I was her |
| stepfather/mother, half-brother/sister and so on | | | | "Mum's cousin" and in this she turned out to be |
| refer to! It teaches us, in simple terms, the word | | | | wholly correct in this explanation of how we were |
| "step" denotes that there's simply no blood | | | | related. As Herber pronounces: "Relationships |
| connection connecting the parties and solely some | | | | involving cousins are more complex. Cousins are |
| sort of connection through marriage. "Half" is | | | | usually people who share an actual common |
| actually something different again and is where | | | | ancestor... The offspring of a pair of siblings |
| the actual people have just one mother or father | | | | happen to be "first" cousins of each other. All the |
| in common. | | | | offspring of two first cousins are "second" cousins |
| Now, because I have a stepmother, a half-sister | | | | of each other and so on." |
| and I also once had a step-grandfather, until he | | | | Okay so far, but then we move on to deal with |
| passed away, on my mother's side, I am acutely | | | | completely different generations. The word we |
| aware of these terms. So, although all of these | | | | utilise to be able to denote this is "removed" |
| various relationships are correct in a factual way, I | | | | hence my first cousin's daughter is my cousin |
| still get a shiver running down my spine when I | | | | once removed. When she gives birth to a baby it |
| see these somewhat cool impersonal terms used | | | | will become my first cousin twice removed. We |
| when identifying folk for whom I have love and | | | | need to determine the number of intervening |
| respect. It seems to me that, when using these | | | | generations between ourselves and the particular |
| prefix, that I'm wanting to distance myself from | | | | common ancestor and utilize that number prior to |
| these dear folk for some reason. I'd like to take | | | | the word "removed". Now at this point comes the |
| this opportunity to say that this is not really true. | | | | bit that I had forgotten! |
| When we are noting down our Family history, | | | | "The concept "removed" is generally only used to |
| however, we sometimes have to be very precise | | | | express relationships down a family tree." |
| in explaining a relationship to someone and so | | | | Therefore this had been precisely why Jenny, my |
| detail exactly how and where a person fits into | | | | first cousin once removed, as a child of my first |
| our family tree. None more difficult than when we | | | | cousin Julie is accurate as soon as she referred to |
| are confronted with illegitimacy in our lines. | | | | me as her "mum's cousin" |
| Maybe in the twentieth century, to be born to | | | | At this point closes the pedant's lesson for today! |
| parents who are unmarried carries little stigma, in | | | | |