| Condolence messages are a meaningful way to | | | | Writing out a draft on scrap paper is a good way |
| express your sympathy to a friend or loved one | | | | to make sure you say what you want to say. It's |
| who has lost someone close. The best condolence | | | | also a good way to get out any jitters you might |
| messages are handwritten on nice stationary and | | | | have about writing the message. It's not easy to |
| convey heartfelt sympathy. But how to you write | | | | say exactly what you want the first time, so |
| such a letter? Here are some practical tips for | | | | writing a draft on scrap paper will help you say |
| writing a sympathetic condolence letter. | | | | exactly what you want to say. Once you have |
| A friend or relative has recently passed away and | | | | your condolence message written out and it |
| you want to write a message of condolence to | | | | sounds good, then get out the nice stationary and |
| their family. You find a quiet place away from | | | | copy your final draft. |
| distractions. You get out the pen and paper, sit | | | | Use your Neatest Handwriting |
| down to begin writing and...nothing happens. You're | | | | For many this will be the first time experiencing |
| mind goes blank. You may even begin to feel the | | | | death first hand or on such a personal level. It's |
| pangs of grief yourself, and become a bit | | | | okay not to be sure what to do or how to go |
| uncomfortable with the whole process. Maybe I'll | | | | about it. Do be sure that when you begin to |
| just send a quick email or e-card you think. Don't | | | | write, that you write legibly. A hastily or sloppily |
| worry, you're quite normal. | | | | written condolence message will be difficult to |
| An Email or Handwritten Condolence Message: | | | | read, and as heartfelt as it may be, will fail to |
| Which is Best? | | | | impart the underlying emotion. Write slowly and |
| Writing a condolence message is not a pleasant | | | | clearly in order for your words to be truly felt. So |
| task for anyone. Emails and e-cards have become | | | | take a deep breath, perhaps put on some |
| an acceptable means of expressing condolences in | | | | soothing music, and begin your message. |
| our time. Yet a handwritten, heartfelt, short | | | | How to Start Your Condolence Message? |
| message of condolence can be so much more | | | | The salutation is dependent on your relationship |
| rewarding to both the recipient and the sender. | | | | with the deceased. If he or she was a co-worker |
| Handwritten cards and letters are often left on | | | | and you didn't know the family, address the |
| display in the home of the grieving or kept as a | | | | condolence message to the closest relative. If it is |
| remembrance. There's also something about a | | | | your friend who has lost a loved one, address the |
| person's handwriting that conveys a deeper sense | | | | condolence message directly to him or her, not |
| of feeling. So stick with your original plan, you'll | | | | the family. A straightforward opening such as "I |
| feel better afterwards, and so will the bereaved. | | | | was so sorry to hear of the death of your loved |
| What to Write Your Condolence Message On? | | | | one -or the deceased person's name" is fitting. |
| Okay, now you've made up your mind to write a | | | | What Else Should You Say in Your Condolence |
| handwritten message. You begin to write, but | | | | Message? |
| there's something about this red ink on the lined | | | | You needn't write an essay on the life of the |
| yellow notepad paper that just doesn't look right. | | | | deceased. A brief expression of your condolences: |
| Good instinct! Losing a loved one is a very solemn | | | | letting them know your thoughts are with them, |
| occasion, so be as conservative and respectful as | | | | you're sorry for their loss, is sufficient. If you |
| possible in choosing your increments and | | | | knew the person well enough to share a happy |
| stationery or card. | | | | memory, by all means do so. Offer help and be |
| Plain white paper is suitable, though something | | | | specific about it. When people are grieving they |
| with a mellow, pastel type floral background or | | | | are in shock and often confused. Take the |
| border will be quite soothing. A matching envelope | | | | initiative to let them know you'll be over to cook |
| and stationery will show the bereaved that you | | | | next week, or mow the lawn. |
| put some thought and genuine feeling into the | | | | Ending Your Condolence Message |
| process. Blue or black ink is preferable, though try | | | | In closing, sum up your feelings with a sincere |
| to go with blue, there will be enough black at the | | | | expression such as "my prayers are with you" or |
| funeral. Never Use a pencil. And by no means | | | | "my deepest sympathy". Including a short poem |
| attempt to alleviate the earnestness of the | | | | or quotation that expresses your feelings can be |
| occasion by sending a humorous card or trying to | | | | a nice added touch, and help to express that |
| make light of death in your message. | | | | which you might not be able to in a condolence |
| Write out a Draft of Your Condolence Message | | | | message. |
| First | | | | |