| Condolence letters offer comfort and support | | | | unacceptable. People frown on such behavior. |
| long after the death of a parent, which can take | | | | Friends and well-wishers focus their attention on |
| years to accept. Your condolence letter can be a | | | | the surviving spouse, or the grandchildren. No one |
| source of comfort throughout those difficult | | | | recognizes that adult children are also grieving. In |
| years. As we grow older, we start to reconcile | | | | addition, when there is one surviving parent, the |
| with the fact that our parents are likely to die | | | | adult child feels it is his or her duty to "take care" |
| before us. Our parents are living longer, which give | | | | of their parent and stifle their own grief. |
| us more time to come to terms with their death. | | | | Your condolence letter should acknowledge the |
| But when faced with the reality of their death, it | | | | fact that grieving is not only acceptable, but also |
| is very difficult to overcome emotions of grief | | | | necessary to get past the pain of losing a parent. |
| and bewilderment. A condolence letter written | | | | Your condolence letter will likely be read in private |
| sincerely can help the bereaved adult child through | | | | when the bereaved can allow their emotions to |
| the difficult times ahead. | | | | come out, no matter what they are, sadness, |
| Adult Children Dealing with the Death of a Parent | | | | anger, fear, relief, and so on. |
| Regardless of your age and experience, your | | | | Death after an Extended Illness |
| parent is always your parent. Your bond with | | | | As an adult watching your parent go through a |
| your parents is a part of your identity that never | | | | long period of severe illness is burdensome. The |
| goes away. Everyone can relate to the death of | | | | strain of being financially and emotionally |
| a parent, biological or not, grandparent or guardian. | | | | responsible for their care is tremendous. You also |
| Each of us is a son or a daughter, who at some | | | | have to devote a lot of your time in caring for |
| point will lose a parent. You can use this | | | | your parent. If you consider the positive side, you |
| knowledge as a basis for your condolence letter | | | | will have more than enough time to prepare |
| to the bereaved adult child. If you've already lost | | | | yourself emotionally to say your goodbyes. On |
| a parent, think back to what you felt and how | | | | the other hand, death can bring relief mixed with |
| you reacted and imagine that's what the | | | | anger, exhaustion and depression. |
| bereaved is feeling right now. If you haven't | | | | Your condolence letter to the adult child of a |
| already lost a parent, imagine what that might be | | | | parent who died of an extended illness should also |
| like for yourself and the bereaved. Jot down | | | | acknowledge the dedication and commitment it |
| those emotions and notes to use later in your | | | | took to take care of them, and now the |
| condolence letter. | | | | bereaved can take rest and look after him or |
| A friend of mine, whose father had passed, told | | | | herself now. They did everything they could for |
| me how terrified he was of approaching age | | | | their parent. |
| forty-two because his father passed away at age | | | | Writing a Condolence Letter |
| forty-two. When parents die, you become more | | | | The death of a parent can be devastating, a relief |
| aware of your own mortality. Sometimes you | | | | or any emotion in between. Knowing that there is |
| might feel your parents have abandoned you and | | | | a complex relationship between parents and |
| you are now an orphan no matter how old you | | | | children and understanding that this is a difficult |
| are. The sense of loss overshadows everything | | | | time no matter what the relationship was like, will |
| you do. | | | | help you write a touching and effective |
| Understanding this will help you to write an | | | | condolence letter. |
| excellent condolence letter that truly comforts | | | | The most important thing to remember is it |
| and supports the grieving adult child. | | | | doesn't matter what you write. Just go ahead and |
| Dealing with Grief | | | | write that condolence letter. |
| For many adult children, grieving in public is | | | | |