| Writing a condolence letter to a bereaved person | | | | gives the bereaved comfort in knowing others |
| gives you an opportunity to create a lasting | | | | appreciated his or her loved one. |
| memento. It also gives you a means of honoring | | | | 4. Talk about Memorable Occasions Involving the |
| the memory of the deceased and a chance to | | | | Deceased |
| offer comfort and hope to the surviving family. In | | | | Here you can mention how the deceased had an |
| the age of emails, instant messages, text and | | | | impact on your life. This could be work-related, |
| social media, we rarely take time to write a | | | | school or community events. Add a sense of |
| personal letter. But when it comes time to write a | | | | humor when referring to these events. |
| condolence letter, we must pull out a pen and | | | | Remember, laughter is a good medicine and can |
| some paper and write a heartfelt message. | | | | cure a lot of ills. |
| Components of Grief | | | | 5. Talk About the Qualities of the Person to |
| The article will not discuss the grief process. I | | | | Whom you are Writing |
| mention it here to provide a clearer understanding | | | | In this section of your condolence letter, offer |
| of grief and help you write a sincere and heartfelt | | | | reassurances to the bereaved to help to boost |
| letter. Once you receive news of death, whether | | | | self-confidence. Sharing emotions of grief, anger, |
| of a loved one, friend or family member, it is hard | | | | sadness, guilt and soul-searching can help to heal. |
| to escape the feeling of grief that envelops you. | | | | Do not be afraid to mention the person's strength |
| Understanding the components of grief will help | | | | in overcoming difficult situations in the past. |
| you to write a sincere and heartfelt condolence | | | | Remind the person you are writing to how |
| letter. Here are some of the components of grief. | | | | resilient he or she was in conquering a difficult |
| 1. Shock at the loss | | | | situation. Grief will not last forever. |
| 2. Denial that the loss occurred | | | | 6. Make an Offer to do Something for the |
| 3. Searching yourself for an answer | | | | Bereaved |
| 4. Bouts of anxiety | | | | Most letters of condolence include an offer of |
| 5. A bit of sadness | | | | assistance. If you feel like assisting, say so. Even |
| 6. A touch of anger | | | | if you have no desire to assist, still write a |
| 7. Feelings of guilt | | | | condolence letter. We usually offer our assistance |
| 8. Preoccupation and forgetfulness | | | | out of courtesy to someone who is grieving. |
| 9. Contemplation before accepting the loss | | | | Without thinking, we often say, "Let me know if |
| 10. Letting go and moving on | | | | there is anything I can do!" You have to realize, |
| Effects of a Condolence Letter on Grief | | | | this can put pressure on the bereaved to ask for |
| The grieving person goes through all of the above | | | | your assistance. It would be better to offer |
| emotions and more. Your condolence letter will | | | | specific assistance, such as picking up the kids |
| help them get through the various stages and will | | | | from school, answering the phones, greeting |
| help them long after the funeral and for months | | | | people as they visit or helping to sort the letters |
| and even years to come. Coming to terms with | | | | and card that are coming in. Once you offer your |
| the death of a loved one is a long slow process | | | | assistance, be sure to keep your promise. |
| so your letter may be appreciated soon after the | | | | 7. The closing |
| death and years later as well. | | | | Be thoughtful in how you end your condolence |
| The most important reason for writing a | | | | letter. It is the last thing the bereaved will read. |
| condolence letter is so that the grieving person | | | | This is the part of your letter, he or she will |
| can read and reread the letter as many times as | | | | remember for a long time. Let your words reflect |
| needed to help them cope with their loss. | | | | your true feelings. You could use, "love', yours |
| Realistically, you can't be there for the survivors | | | | truly',"best regards" or with deepest sympathy. |
| every time they need support, but your | | | | You could choose a condolence phrase from the |
| condolence letter offers comfort even when you | | | | list below to end your letter.o May the peace, |
| can't be there. | | | | which comes from the memories of love shared, |
| The Seven Parts of a Condolence Letter | | | | comfort you now and in the days ahead.o May |
| A condolence letter can be as long or as short as | | | | the comfort of God help you during this difficult |
| it needs to be to say what you need it to say. | | | | time.o We are thinking of you during this difficult |
| But what should you say in a condolence letter? | | | | time.o Words seem inadequate to express the |
| Here are seven important parts of a condolence | | | | sadness we feel.o Although no words can really |
| letter that will help you organize your thoughts | | | | help to ease the loss you bear, just know that |
| and get your sincere sympathy out on paper. | | | | you are very close in every thought and prayer.o |
| 1. Acknowledging the Loss | | | | You have my deepest sympathies on the death |
| In the opening sentences of your condolence | | | | of your uncle.o Oh, heart, if one should say to |
| letter, let the person to whom you were writing | | | | you that the soul perishes like the body, answer |
| know how you heard the news. Use it to express | | | | that the flower withers, but the seed remains.o |
| your sadness and dismay about the loss. | | | | Our hearts go out to you in your time of |
| 2. Express your Sympathy | | | | sorrow.o I was deeply saddened to hear of your |
| In this next section of your condolence letter, let | | | | loss. My thoughts are with you.o I am so sorry |
| the person you are writing to know how much | | | | for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your |
| you care. How you share in their grief and sorrow. | | | | family. |
| Above all, be honest. If you knew the person | | | | It may take some time to write your condolence |
| who passed away, express your sadness and | | | | letter, but it is well worth the effort. You may not |
| offer support to the bereaved. Give them | | | | ever fully appreciate what your condolence letter |
| comfort, letting him or her know they are not | | | | can do for someone else until you feel the impact |
| alone during this time. | | | | of a loss of a loved one. But know in your heart |
| 3. Write About the Deceased | | | | that your written words can offer the comfort |
| Mention things you know about the deceased that | | | | that is often so hard to say. |
| brought joy to others. Recount some pleasant | | | | A condolence letter is an excellent way to honor |
| experiences with the deceased. Maybe about | | | | and remember the deceased. The process of |
| sports or travel-related. Use humor as you see fit. | | | | writing the letter may even help you with your |
| If you did not know the deceased personally, you | | | | own grieving process and help you come to |
| might mention things you heard from others. This | | | | terms with the loss. |