Condolence Letters - The Etiquette of Writing Condolence Letters

Writing a condolence letter is not only difficult butrelationship with the deceased, you should address
also painful. Wrought with grief, you have tothe letter to both.
gather your thoughts and put it down on paper.In many cases the surviving children who lost a
Some people never get around to writing a letterparent, grandparent or sibling are often forgotten
because they use the excuse that it was toowhen it comes to condolence letters. Taking the
painful. However, think of the comfort your lettertime to mention them specifically in your letter or
will bring to the bereaved as he or she reads it.even addressing the letter to the children is
You might want to send flowers or a sympathytherapeutic to the recipient and considerate on
food basket, write an email, make a post onyour part.
Facebook or Tweet about it. Still, nothing canYou can also consider sending a condolence letter
replace the lasting gift of a handwrittento the surviving member of a divorced couple
condolence letter.when the former spouse dies, depending on the
What are your choices - You have four ways tocircumstances. If the couple's relationship after
write you condolence letter:their divorce was amicable, your letter will be
1. Write a letter from scratch. You can see goodappreciated.
examples of condolence letters online. Be genuine2. How long should you wait to send your
and avoid pretentious language. Express yourcondolence letter? It is a good idea to send your
sympathy and acknowledge the grief of theletter as soon as you get the news. If you wait
person you are writing to.until you get over the shock you might never
2. Use an existing letter. You can add yoursend a letter. You should make every effort to
personal touch to a letter you already have,your letter within two weeks. Waiting until after
putting it in your own style, you might be lucky tosix weeks is a no-no.
find a letter, which reflects your sentiment.3. What kind of stationary should you use? You
3. Use a quotation, a reading or historical letter.can find appropriate stationary in specialty stores
There is nothing wrong with writing this type ofor online. Soft colors such as mauve, gray, white
condolence letter. In fact, this will reflect howor cream is customary. Avoid bright colors and
much thought you gave to the importance ofbold patterns on your stationary. Writing your
saying the right things. This only adds to theletter by hand is appropriate especially if you
lasting effect of your letter.were close friends with the decease or the
4. Express your feelings the commercial way. Ifsurviving family.
you do not wish to write a letter, sending a4. Is there a standard length for a condolence
sympathy card by mail, putting a post onletter? It should be as long as you think is
Facebook or sending out a Tweet, is alsoappropriate to convey your feelings. You may be
acceptable.able to accomplish that in a few sentences or you
The Etiquette of it all. - Although there isn't a rightmight need a few pages. It is totally up to you.
or a wrong way to write a condolence letter,Good examples of condolence letters with specific
there are accepted principles you should observe:examples for your situation can be found online. If
1. What is the relationship? Normally you wouldyou knew the deceased well, it will be easier to
write the letter to the bereaved person withwrite your letter because you can draw on your
whom you have the closest connection. In thememories of the person. If you did not know the
case where you knew the deceased very well,person well, you can focus your letter on the
but not the family, you should still write afamily and offer your support during this difficult
condolence letter. If it is a married person whotime. In any case, expressing your sympathy in a
has lost a parent, you should write to the personcondolence letter is always appropriate and
who lost the parent. If the spouse had a closeappreciated.