Am I Going To Die Today?

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Am I going to die today? It’s a thoughtI know all about death. I watched bed side as
that generally doesn’t run through mydisease and sickness ravaged the body and mind
head on a regular basis. Should it? Should I beof someone very close and special. In this case,
worried? A young man woke up this morning filledshe knew she was going to die. It was just a
with boyhood dreams of flying with the birds andquestion of how long she was willing to fight and
soaring above the clouds. Did he think he waslet me say, she fought with the courage and
going die today? Probably not, but he did. Flew hisferocity of a lion. When her body finally betrayed
small plane into the side of an apartment building inher and she slipped away, I was devastated but
Manhattan. Terrible accident. Terrible tragedy. Helucky. I had the chance to say goodbye. Tell her I
flies no more.loved her. Tell her thanks for everything. Tell her
A wonderful woman I knew, a neighbor, crashedhow proud I was to be her daughter.
her car on a bridge one rainy day returning homePeople die everyday of sickness or in accidents,
from some innocent shopping. I wonder, as shebecause of war and malice. We pause for a
was brushing her teeth that morning and combingmoment and say “oh how sad” then
her hair, did she look in the mirror and say,continue to talk on our cell phones and chomp
“I’m going to die today?” Do youFrench fries. It’s so much easier to look
know? Is there a feeling you get?the other way and pretend that these tragic
Did that pilot look up and see the building beforethings don’t happen to you and me. But
his plane hit? Did he scream? I can only imagine asthey do. All the time. And we never know what
his plane lost altitude and spiraled downwards, heto say. Somehow “sorry for your loss”
knew there was going to be a crash. But die? Weseems so lame. So many times we say nothing
never think we’re going to actually die. Weand stand there feeling embarrassed and
may get seriously injured but we won’tinconvenienced by someone else’s loss.
die. That happens to other people. Not us.I’ll always remember the last words my
We’re a society of risk takers andmom whispered to me before she died. She
adventure seekers. We push the limits as far asopened her tired eyes, smiled and said, “hi”,
we can, jumping from planes, diving withlike today was just any old day. Something so
dangerous sea creatures, loving every minute ofcasual, so simple. Did she know those would be
it. But sometimes the parachute doesn’tthe last words she ever spoke? I think she did.
open and the sea creature attacks andShe knew her time had come.
we’re left again to wonder, “Am I going